Sunday, 20 November 2011

2 days later...

I decided, seeing as I created a bad comment on twitter the same night I would post an apology on both twitter and facebook apologising for my mis-demeanour. I explained how I was stressed and upset with uni work and half explained why. I stripped my status posting rights on twitter and facebook and will not be writing up statuses again until after my exams finish, that way I can't cause any more harm.

However, I haven't told them my full reasoning, why? because as bitchy as I was I shouldn't have to explain myself, if anyone who cares about me really wants to know what drove me to do it, my actual reasons for posting it and who it was really about they can speak to me. They all assumed I was upset about them asking for help on questions and complaining about coursework. In reality, it was because they disrespected hard working lecturers and complained that none of it was worthwhile. This makes me think why be on the course anyway? and made me angry.

On other notes, gathering information on a debate, just hope this weekends events wont be spread throughout uni, but then... I feel I have a pretty decent defense even if I did go about expressing my concerns in the wrong way

xxRach227xx

Friday, 18 November 2011

Wow, the last time I posted on this thing was ages ago!

I fucked up, and so this is the only place I may get heard without the people who hate me commenting on how much of a bitch I was, I had my reasons yes but what I did was wrong. I publicly displayed my anger about people when if I was even a hint of decent person I would have at least said it to the people that annoyed me and not generalised.

The problem? I made a post on twitter, a post which I am neither proud of or happy with in any way shape or form. The post in question? 'sick of the animal biology lot of the the environmental students, they're always feckin complaining, it's 4th yr grow the feck up!'

I generalised a whole group of people when I was only upset with one or two of them. I have animal biologist friends who I am close too and I bracketed them alongside people I don't respect. This was a horrid spur of the moment thing and I jeopardised my last few months at university.

You may now be wondering why the hell I posted such a generalised and insulting comment. To be fair my reasons for being upset with the minimal few of the group were, I believe, justified, because they were complaining about lecturers, lecturers who for the past 3 and a bit years have been teaching, helping and supporting us through our course at university. Particularly this year, I have grown close to my lecturers and it made me feel defensive and I took these comments to heart. Add this with all the other stresses from coursework and the looming exams I became someone who is not me, someone ugly.

I believe in expressing your opinion, however, I have scorned others for using facebook or twitter as a measure of sending that message across, I've never liked it at all and yet I never listened to my own advice and look where it got me, with a big gang of people who hate me and an upset stomach. I admit I complain about my coursework and exams all the time too but I'm not going to moan about how the course is shit and the lecturers are no help. I may complain that it's hard work but I know it's worthwhile and it's been structured so well.

We conducted an Environmental Impact Assessment or and EIA for the course I share with animal biologists which is Environmental Management. Now I found it extremely difficult to do and yes I did say it was hard and was stressing me out on facebook many times but not once did I ever say it wasn't a worthwhile coursework and that the lecturers didn't help, it's fourth year they expect you to get by and get on with realistic planning. EIA's are what many jobs offer within the environmental field of work.

Although, here is forethought for you. I create one post on twitter, forgetting animal biologists have access to my feed. They ha-rang me for being a bitch and complaining pot and kettle etc. However, the next thing they do is post up hate statuses about me and call me a bitch and a cow etc. Does this not also seem like a pot and kettle situation too?

I never meant for this blog to be a place where I moan and complain about how shit my life is, I hate reading things like that, it's depressing but I guess no one is going to read this anyway. I've apologised and that's all I can do and I doubt that will get me anywhere. The only bright side is that I probably won't see them again until after the exams, which is, believe it or not, a great shame. Although I have to say I never got chance to explain myself, but then why should I? These thoughts are jumbled too, which I also apologise for.

I have to say to finish, this would be a great argument for the people who wish to be rid of twitter and facebook.

xxRach227xx